Cheating Spouse

Do you suspect your spouse is having an affair? Statistics show that most people who suspect it or just have a gut feeling are right. Maybe you need to know for sure so you can force them to get couples counseling to try to save the marriage or so you can just get past it or to make a decision on whether to move forward to a divorce.

Although divorce in Colorado is No Fault and evidence of cheating is not required, that evidence can sometimes be leveraged to affect the value of a property settlement or just to convince the spouse to not fight. That evidence can be important to your future economic situation.

It can also affect child custody in some cases.


GPS Trackers

There are all sorts of reasons for wanting to have a GPS unit attached to things so you can find out where they are or where they have been. As far as I can see, if something belongs to you tracking it with  GPS is legal. Tracking other peoples things not so much.

There are all sorts of hardware setups, there are small tags that can be clipped to a pets collar or kids backpack. Devices like the picture above that can be permanently or temporarily attached to a car. The hardware can be a smartphone.

All require some software and for real time tracking, there may need to be a cell phone simm card and a subscription service (maybe $25 a month). For after the fact tracking, there are some that simply store the GPS data on a mini SD card you read later on a PC. There are even some that use bluetooth and can send a real time update of location through other peoples (participating) bluetooth phones.

The vehicle attached units can have other useful options, especially for watching where your teenager is taking your car. They can send SMS text messages to your phone if they arrive at or leave certain areas home or school or work. They can let you watch real time and see the location and speed of the car.

The ones connected to the cars systems can tell you other things like low on gas or oil, if the unit gets removed or disconnected. Some can even disable the vehicle and prevent it starting. Some can pick up and transmit to your phone sounds in the vehicle (recording conversations may violate state laws).

There are apps that can be installed on a smartphone that will track the phone some secretly some openly these can be useful for tracking business travel or tracking teens. They can also find the phone if it is lost, some can activate the phones camera to capture the person who may have found or stolen the phone and send that picture to you. They can also disable the phone remotely.

There may be some legal questions about tracking an adult or their car or phone. But tracking your own pet, car and phone should be OKAY.

Investigations for Divorce and Custody

What can a private investigator do for your divorce or child custody case?
Here are some examples from actual cases of mine. One client suspected their spouse had been lying in reports to the court about where they were employed but without direct evidence the court would not issue a subpoena for records from the employer. It required surveillance at the employers facility to first identify and verify the spouses car was there and then I was able to photograph the spouse in the car leaving work

I then followed to where the spouse was now living and it also did not match what had been reported to the court. With some further confirmation that spouse is facing a contempt of court summons.

In a child custody case out of state I was able to document the use of marijuana by the parent seeking custody. Although the use in Colorado is legal, the use by a parent with a child in the house could still be an issue in custody here and certainly is in other states.

Often the question of hidden assets is involved, I have been able to document that one spouse had bought a condo and titled it in the name of his minor child to conceal the ownership from the soon to be ex spouse. Also they often use one bank account to pay child support or maintenance and another to conceal their hidden money, finding evidence of multiple accounts allows for subpoenas to each bank which can reveal hidden cash and hidden income.

Even long after a divorce there are things that can be done. One single mom had been unable to get child support through the state enforcement agencies. He owed nearly thirty thousand. I was able to track down the home he owns and where he works.

Getting evidence needed requires a variety of methods and tools. I have access to online commercial and government databases. I use time tested methods to legally find evidence and add to that innovative new methods designed to legally break through resistance.

Can you go through divorce and child custody on your own? Sure and some people do their own dental work, but better outcomes usually result from using a professional.

Are they cheating?

Think your spouse is cheating? While not set in concrete, the following are some things to watch for:

  • Your spouse starts working a lot of overtime – going in early or coming home late
  • Your husband or wife uses the internet often and wants privacy while doing so
  • Extra mileage on the odometer
  • Your spouse hides their cell phone bill / house phone bill
  • Your spouse often says ” It’s your imagination “
  • Your spouse receives “hang up” phone calls
  • Your significant other is not interested in having sex anymore
  • Doesn’t wear their wedding ring
  • New sexual techniques
  • Often says ” I need my space”
  • Shows a sudden interest in a different type of music
  • Your wife’s or husband’s co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence
  • Spouse has a sudden preoccupation with his or her appearance
  • Spends an excessive amount of time on the computer when you are asleep
  • The amount of money being deposited into your checking account drops off
  • You find items of intimate apparel that you did not give your spouse
  • Your partner seems less comfortable around you
  • You receive calls where the caller hangs up
  • Your notice a change in attitude towards everyone in the home
  • Spouse uses a low voice or whisper on the phone or hangs up quickly
  • Your spouse begins to delete all incoming phone calls from the caller ID
  • Your spouse deletes all incoming e-mails when they used to accumulate
  • A cheating spouse will have a change in grooming habits
  • Your partner picks fights and argues with you more over little things
  • If your spouse is dressing nicer, looking nicer, it may be because they are trying
  • to impress someone, and possibly cheating
  • If you notice charges on credit card statement that don’t make sense

You Can’t Always Get what You Want

Yes, that’s a line from an old song, but there is a real message. When people come to an investigator, what they want and what they get may not match. And sometimes that is because what they want and what they need are not the same.

For instance, sometimes someone wants evidence that their spouse or lover or… is cheating. Sometimes they do not get what they want simply because there is no evidence to be gotten.  And that may be because the spouse (or whatever) is not cheating. Sometimes they want the name of the person that the affair involves, but that person’s name and address and phone number ect. are not  “fair game”. The “injured spouse (or whatever) has no claim against the “other”.  The only legitimate injury would be by the cheating “spouse”.

Perhaps they want to find a lost relative? That is what they want but is it what they need, is it what they will get? Do they have a right to that person’s information? If the missing person is an adult and not mentally or medically at risk or contractually obligated or under a court order to provide the information then the want may well go un met. Perhaps the “missing” person is a birth parent who gave up a child in an adoption, State law protects that parent from having to be contacted about the birth and adoption. The best that can be hoped for is that if the investigator can indeed find the person, they might write a letter informing them that there is someone who believes they may be related but giving that possible parent they absolute option to not respond, or to respond that they want no contact or that the possible relative is mistaken, etc. In such a case the investigator would not be giving any identification to either party without an express release from each. That same would go for someone who simply went missing. There may have disappeared from a bad situation, perhaps abuse or harassment or just not wanting to be involved any more. Again, the information would not be given. It is possible that the “missing” person may authorize the investigator to tell their “relative” that they are “alive and well” or happy or whatever.

Even if they do get what they want, sometimes that information will not be what they need. For instance, if they are getting a divorce, evidence that the spouse is cheating is really not relevant. Unless it can be shown that the spouse is associating with a criminal or drug abuser when the minor children are in the home, there is not really any “need” there. That is not to say their want is invalid necessarily, perhaps in order to have the church annul the marriage or just to give peace of mind that the divorce is what they need.

It is important to consider the want, the need and the get.

Police Blotter

Used to be you could get the local newspaper and look at the recent police calls in your town. Well those printed papers are scarce and the police call info they may have is weeks old when it is printed.

Try this site called Raidsonline. It will show you on a map what calls were made in what ever area you select map1 and the time frame you want to see.

Each different call is a different icon and clicking it gives an approximate address (privacy) and date and time and a brief description.

The added benefits are you don’t get newspaper ink on your fingers and you don’t have to dispose of the paper when you are done.

If you want to listen real time, try one of the several police scanner apps on your smart phone or PC. they don’t give you the undercover calls but most Police, Fire and EMS calls come through. As with the over the air radios, it takes some listening and a jargon cheat sheet to understand.

But these should satisfy your crime snooper curiosity from your phone or PC.