Are they cheating?

Think your spouse is cheating? While not set in concrete, the following are some things to watch for:

  • Your spouse starts working a lot of overtime – going in early or coming home late
  • Your husband or wife uses the internet often and wants privacy while doing so
  • Extra mileage on the odometer
  • Your spouse hides their cell phone bill / house phone bill
  • Your spouse often says ” It’s your imagination “
  • Your spouse receives “hang up” phone calls
  • Your significant other is not interested in having sex anymore
  • Doesn’t wear their wedding ring
  • New sexual techniques
  • Often says ” I need my space”
  • Shows a sudden interest in a different type of music
  • Your wife’s or husband’s co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence
  • Spouse has a sudden preoccupation with his or her appearance
  • Spends an excessive amount of time on the computer when you are asleep
  • The amount of money being deposited into your checking account drops off
  • You find items of intimate apparel that you did not give your spouse
  • Your partner seems less comfortable around you
  • You receive calls where the caller hangs up
  • Your notice a change in attitude towards everyone in the home
  • Spouse uses a low voice or whisper on the phone or hangs up quickly
  • Your spouse begins to delete all incoming phone calls from the caller ID
  • Your spouse deletes all incoming e-mails when they used to accumulate
  • A cheating spouse will have a change in grooming habits
  • Your partner picks fights and argues with you more over little things
  • If your spouse is dressing nicer, looking nicer, it may be because they are trying
  • to impress someone, and possibly cheating
  • If you notice charges on credit card statement that don’t make sense

UPDATE – Who is this new guy I met?

elderly coupleNot long after this happened – at the WalMart in Parker, CO I heard from two other women of about the same age who had been approached by the same guy with about the same line.

Do not know what his endgame is but he is not the Mr. Right for these women.

 

BEWARE!

Not long ago a recent widow asked me to do a background check on a new “Beau”. At seventy she felt just a little leery of accepting him at face value.

He met her at the local grocery store and it ended with a couple hour visit at StarBucks and a couple kisses. She found a Facebook page for him and the picture matched. Showed pictures of him with his kids. She just had a “vibe” that made her want to check.

He told her his name, how old he was, that he had been widowed 12 years ago, that he had “kids ” living in the area, lots of details.

Problems popped immediately when I started to check the details. His phone came back as belonging to someone with the same first name but similar although different last name. Searching the name he gave came back with virtually nothing, on the cell phone owner’s name – a different story.

That story was there was a move 12 years ago to the general area he said he lived (didn’t give her his address), there was a record of a woman at that address with the same first name as his “late” wife and this other last name but no indication (like the SS death list) that she was “late”. The kids he had mentioned by first name existed with the different last name attached but they did not appear to live in the area.

So it looks like he told her some truth – first name, phone number, how long he had lived in the area, his wife’s first name, his kids first names. It just seems the lies were in the “details” like a living wife, his real name, his real intentions (which remain unknown but certainly seem nefarious).

She decided to cancel going to breakfast with him.

Police Blotter

Used to be you could get the local newspaper and look at the recent police calls in your town. Well those printed papers are scarce and the police call info they may have is weeks old when it is printed.

Try this site called Raidsonline. It will show you on a map what calls were made in what ever area you select map1and the time frame you want to see.

Each different call is a different icon and clicking it gives an approximate address (privacy) and date and time and a brief description.

The added benefits are you don’t get newspaper ink on your fingers and you don’t have to dispose of the paper when you are done.

If you want to listen real time, try one of the several police scanner apps on your smart phone or PC. they don’t give you the undercover calls but most Police, Fire and EMS calls come through. As with the over the air radios, it takes some listening and a jargon cheatsheet to understand.

But these should satisfy your crime snooper curiosity from your phone or PC.

Spousal Infidelity? What can you do?

Ok, you’ve hired an investigator and have the proof, can you salvage the marriage? Maybe. Here is a link to a site with some insight into that.

The answer is not always to hire a lawyer. Is the cheating terminal, it depends of you, your spouse and all the details of your lives together. Perhaps your church has different rules for divorce than the state does? Are there kids, will the kids be better off if you stay together or if you split? Are you able to move forward in the marriage knowing the truth? Will you and your spouse able to live with the consequences of the infidelity and move forward in the marriage if the truth is squarely on the table? Has all the truth come out?

Many times finding the truth is a small part. But, can you deal with the situation at all without knowing the truth?

GPS trackers

51plgx4oayl-_sl160_sl150_There are all sorts of reasons for wanting to have a GPS unit attached to things so you can find out where they are or where they have been. As far as I can see, if something belongs to you tracking it on GPS is legal. Tracking other peoples’ things – not so much.

There are all sorts of hardware setups, there are small tags that can be clipped to a pet’s collar or kids backpack. Devices – like the picture above that can be permanently or temporarily attached to a car. The hardware can be a smartphone.

All require some software and for real time tracking, there may need to be a cell phone simm card and a subscription service (maybe $25 a month). For after the fact tracking, there are some that simply store the GPS data on a mini SD card you read later on a PC. There are even some that use bluetooth and can send a real time update of location through other people’s (participating) bluetooth phones.

The vehicle attached units can have other useful options, especially for watching where your teenager is taking your car. They can send SMS text messages to your phone if they arrive at or leave certain areas – home or school or work. They can let you watch real time and see the location and speed of the car.

The ones connected to the car’s systems can tell you other things – like low on gas or oil, if the unit gets removed or disconnected. Some can even disable the vehicle and prevent it starting. Some can pick up and transmit to your phone sounds in the vehicle (recording conversations may violate state laws).

There are apps that can be installed on a smartphone that will track the phone – some secretly some openly – these can be useful for tracking business travel or tracking teens. They can also find the phone if it is lost, some can activate the phone’s camera to capture the person who may have found or stolen the phone and send that picture to you. They can also disable the phone remotely.

There may be some legal questions about tracking an adult or their car or phone. But tracking your own pet, car and phone should be OKAY.

Investigations for Divorce and Custody

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What can a private investigator do for your divorce or child custody case?
Here are some examples from actual cases of mine. One client suspected their spouse had been lying in reports to the court about where they were employed but without direct evidence the court would not issue a subpoena for records from the employer. It required surveillance at the employer’s facility to first identify and verify the spouse’s car was there and then I was able to photograph the spouse in the car leaving work

I then followed to where the spouse was now living and it also did not match what had been reported to the court. With some further confirmation that spouse is facing a contempt of court summons.

In a child custody case out of state I was able to document the use of marijuana by the parent seeking custody. Although the use in Colorado is legal, the use by a parent with a child in the house could still be an issue in custody here and certainly is in other states.

Often the question of hidden assets is involved, I have been able to document that one spouse had bought a condo and titled it in the name of his minor child to conceal the ownership from the soon to be ex spouse. Also they often use one bank account to pay child support or maintenance and another to conceal their hidden money, finding evidence of multiple accounts allows for subpoenas to each bank which can reveal hidden cash and hidden income.

Even long after a divorce there are things that can be done. One single mom had been unable to get child support through the state enforcement agencies. He owed nearly thirty thousand. I was able to track down the home he owns and where he works.

Getting evidence needed requires a variety of methods and tools. I have access to online commercial and government databases. I use time tested methods to legally find evidence and add to that innovative new methods designed to legally break through resistance.

Can you go through divorce and child custody on your own? Sure and some people do their own dental work, but better outcomes usually result from using a professional.

Some odd investigations

 

 

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Sometimes odd things happen in investigations. Here are a few recent examples:

In a contested divorce case I determined that the husband had a new live in girl friend. While I was investigating him and his assets, he appears to have had the girlfriend buy a birthday present for his 6 year old daughter who lives in another state with the wife. She ordered online three Hello Kitty wines! Cannot imagine what she was thinking, was it spite against the wife or against her “boyfriend”? Had no idea there were Hello Kitty wines!

A husband needed to find his estranged wife to serve her with divorce papers, he had two possible areas of the city where she might be. As a precaution I checked for restraining orders and found that not only did his wife have one against him, he had one against her so I couldn’t let either of them know the other’s whereabouts. He did have a lawyer so I told him I could work through the lawyer only. I tracked down a likely address for her and went there – knocked on the door and a young woman answered. I had a picture of the wife and this was not her. I asked if the wife was there she said she doesn’t live there anymore. I asked is she had any forwarding address. A teen aged kid behind her pops up and says she is in rehab in California. The woman agreed with that, but did admit she had a phone number that might or might not be still working. I thanked her and went back to the car and called the number, asked for the wife, and it was she who answered. I explained to her that her husband hired me to find her so she could be served and get the divorce going after these two years. She agreed that would be good, to get it done but was very leery about telling me where she lived or worked but she told me what part of town and said the next evening after she got off work would be good. I said no problem – maybe someplace like Starbucks? She eventually agreed to meet at a police station which was okay by me. The next day she let me know which police station – it was twenty miles from where she had claimed to be. The next day I talked to the husband, he admitted he had been living in his truck in a mountain campground. I never did know where either was really living but he paid cash and the papers were served.

Workers Comp case, a guy out of work seemed to be working, needed to be caught. Knowing he had no license after a DUI it seemed likely he was taking a bus or light rail. On Sunday, not expecting him to be working, I parked near his apartment on the likely route in order to scope out the possibilities, with video cameras aimed at the bus/train station and his apartment I was watching the buses, trains and people. Out of no where he shows up behind my vehicle walking across to a convenience store.  Reviewing the videos later I did not see him walking from the apartment or from the bus / train. There is a chain link fence that whole block with no gates or gaps – where had he come from? By syncing the videos I saw a white cargo van come from the direction of the apartment but did not appear in the other view for almost a minute. He had been in the van and they dropped him off right across the street from me. Well I now knew what to look for as his transport to and from work.

 

Social Media and your safety

What you post – on facebook or elsewhere – can come back to bite you. Not just in the face palm – I can’t believe I posted that – type but the How did that guy find out where I live or my phone number or where and when I can be attacked, or kidnapped, or worse? (Now, I really don’t want the people I am looking for to take this advice, it makes my work easier when they do these things.)

Do you have a classic valuable car you posted a picture of with the license plate number showing?

Did you post a picture of the front of your house with the address numbers showing?

When you go eat do you click the cute little thing that checks you in to that place?

Does your profile show what city and state you are from?

Do you post about where you work? Even just the company name? Do you post pictures with a company vehicle in the background or with you wearing a company shirt, jacket or uniform?

While you are on vacation do you post pictures of the great place you and your family are staying?

That is more than enough info for a thief or worse to target you and your stuff.

With the license plate number in most states the owner’s name and address, the vin number, maybe the color, engine size, even some options are out there.

With the house number and the city – you can Google and find all the complete addresses with that number in that city (there are surprisingly few in many cases) and then go to Google street view or Zillow and match the pictures of your house to those on the web. They will know your complete address, perhaps even pictures of the inside of the house.

Oh and look – you are on vacation in Cancun posting pictures of you para sailing today and you’re going snorkeling tomorrow (guess your home is probably empty today and tomorrow)garyfloats. Or every Thursday you go out to eat at Goodtime Charlies with all your buds.

You work at Gooddeal mortgage loans – well there is only one of those near your home, a quick call to them during the day can verify you are there – even if the receptionist says “Oh I’m sorry but employees can’t take private calls”, I know you are probably there and can probably guess what time to wait outside to catch you leaving work.

So just from what many people post on Social media someone with bad intentions can find you, rob your home, steal your car, kidnap you or your family members, stalk you, harass you, target you in many ways. All because you do what so many others do every day.

Catching a Cheating Spouse

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Do you suspect your spouse is having an affair? Statistics show that most people who suspect it or just have a “gut feeling” are right. Maybe you need to know for sure so you can force them to get couples counseling to try to save the marriage or so you can just get past it or to make a decision on whether to move forward to a divorce.

Although divorce in Colorado is “No Fault” and evidence of cheating is not required, that evidence can sometimes be leveraged to affect the value of a property settlement or just to convince the spouse to not fight. That evidence can be important to your future economic situation.

It can also affect child custody in some cases.

 

See something – Say something vs But people might call me racist!

What do we really know about our neighbors? Sometimes not enough, sometimes more than we want to admit. Could they be convicted sex offenders, or pedophiles or terrorists? there was a time in America we knew our neighbors, knew whether we could trust them with our kids playing out front, with leaving our doors unlocked, with just going about or lives in peace and safety.

Things have changed, in many cases people not only don’t know who or what their neighbors are but actively ignore things that could save lives.

After the San Bernardino attack and now again after the Orlando attack we hear that neighbors and co-workers of the terrorists had reason to be concerned about them but did nothing because “people might call me a racist”. People died because “other people” might say “Racist!”

We cannot count on someone else to keep us safe. We have a dedicated enemy looking to kill us, they are not keeping it a secret – just days before Orlando an Imam there called for killing gays – he said it would be compassionate! It is not just gays, they hate everyone who is not one of them.

But of course there are people who will scream Racist! for anything that they disagree with – very much like the Islamists scream infidel! But to alert the police or FBI about a possible terrorist is not in any way racist. The Islamists encompass all ethnicities. They are not all Arabs, or Persians, or Africans. All Islamic Terrorists are just that Islamic Terrorists. They have declared war on us, we can have no compunction about calling them out. The danger is that if we do not, we may be among their next batch of victims. And have no doubt there will be more attacks and they have shown they can up the ante and expand the “body count”.

Before the next attack, let all the people who know something about the attackers bring them to the attention of the authorities and not be concerned about political correctness.