Catching a Cheating Spouse

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Do you suspect your spouse is having an affair? Statistics show that most people who suspect it or just have a “gut feeling” are right. Maybe you need to know for sure so you can force them to get couples counseling to try to save the marriage or so you can just get past it or to make a decision on whether to move forward to a divorce.

Although divorce in Colorado is “No Fault” and evidence of cheating is not required, that evidence can sometimes be leveraged to affect the value of a property settlement or just to convince the spouse to not fight. That evidence can be important to your future economic situation.

It can also affect child custody in some cases.

 

See something – Say something vs But people might call me racist!

What do we really know about our neighbors? Sometimes not enough, sometimes more than we want to admit. Could they be convicted sex offenders, or pedophiles or terrorists? there was a time in America we knew our neighbors, knew whether we could trust them with our kids playing out front, with leaving our doors unlocked, with just going about or lives in peace and safety.

Things have changed, in many cases people not only don’t know who or what their neighbors are but actively ignore things that could save lives.

After the San Bernardino attack and now again after the Orlando attack we hear that neighbors and co-workers of the terrorists had reason to be concerned about them but did nothing because “people might call me a racist”. People died because “other people” might say “Racist!”

We cannot count on someone else to keep us safe. We have a dedicated enemy looking to kill us, they are not keeping it a secret – just days before Orlando an Imam there called for killing gays – he said it would be compassionate! It is not just gays, they hate everyone who is not one of them.

But of course there are people who will scream Racist! for anything that they disagree with – very much like the Islamists scream infidel! But to alert the police or FBI about a possible terrorist is not in any way racist. The Islamists encompass all ethnicities. They are not all Arabs, or Persians, or Africans. All Islamic Terrorists are just that Islamic Terrorists. They have declared war on us, we can have no compunction about calling them out. The danger is that if we do not, we may be among their next batch of victims. And have no doubt there will be more attacks and they have shown they can up the ante and expand the “body count”.

Before the next attack, let all the people who know something about the attackers bring them to the attention of the authorities and not be concerned about political correctness.

 

Is your front door safe enough?

Just like a chain is no stronger than its weakest link, your home security is no stronger than the easiest and quietest way to defeat it.

Look at your front door, the most used and most likely entry point for anyone wishing to enter your home for either good or ill. Is it a strong solid door without an breakable window near the lock? A good first step,  if properly locked crashing through it will at least be noisy.

How are the locks on your outside doors? The old standard locking knob is better than no lock at all but not much, a deadbolt is somewhat better but only against someone without the initiative to make or buy a $3 bump key. Most standard entrance locksets and deadbolts are easily and quietly defeated with a bump key. Forget what you’ve seen on TV about people picking locks (like Magnum “don’t look at the dogs, work the lock!”). A bump key works by basically inserting the bump key like a regular key, pull it out a bit, lightly twist the key with one hand and bump the key back in. The lock is defeated. Hardly a noise, in as little as a second, taking no more time than you usually take unlocking it with your own key.

How do you safeguard against a bump key? key If your key looks like this one, the lock is vulnerable to a bump key. That includes deadbolts and door knob locksets. The same company that sells the bump keys will sell you an inexpensive piece that will mount inside a deadbolt that will prevent any key opening it from the outside but that does nothing for you when you are not there, and a bump key leaves no visible evidence outside that someone has entered, you cannot know that there is no one waiting inside when you use your key to open the door.

One solution is to replace the deadbolt lock with a keypad which has no key (I do wonder about getting in if you forgot the code or the battery goes dead). Another is to install a bump resistant lock, here is a video by Kwickset about their smart key tech vs their competitor (there is another youtube that shows how to defeat the Kwickset in 10 seconds so the technology is not perfect). Even Kwickset’s web page notes that no lock is 100% unpickable.

There are lock replacements that work with a cell phone with or without a key lock in combination.

The best you can hope to do is make it difficult or time consuming or noisy. Backing up any lock with a security – alarm system can help by making it more likely to be noisy or alerting someone. Short of hiring guards 24-7 to guard your home, there is no way to assure that no one will break into your home. Even with a perfect unbreakable lock on a perfect door, they could break a window or take an axe and crash through the wall. The best you can hope for is to discourage the person, make them look for softer targets.

So just don’t make your place easy to target, try to force an intruder to bring more tools, make more noise or spend more time and make it obvious what they are doing or what they have done. And most important – lock the locks and don’t hide a key.

Being Stalked?

Think you are being stalked? What can you do?

Stalking is a terrorizing act. It is not just people in the public eye like movie and TV celebrities, it can be almost anyone. Probably the most common would be someone with a misplaced romantic or sexual fantasy attraction to the person they are stalking. It can be a jilted lover, a co-worker, someone who lives nearby, or it can be a total stranger after a chance encounter either in person or on-line or a picture in the news or almost any way that the stalker might find a trigger to set them on their target.

How do you know if you are being stalked? Most stalkers want to be detected, they want their victim to react in some way, they want to be noticed. Some may want to make physical contact – bumping their victim while walking by, pressing against them in an elevator or bus, touching them is some seemingly casual random way. Others want to See their victim, watch them moving, maybe see them in what should be private situations.

Mostly they want the victim to react – maybe they want to see a pleasurable reaction – often they want an adverse reaction, they want to see fear or revulsion. Confronting them can feed that, it can encourage them to go further. The escalation may not be “Fatal Attraction” style but it could be. Many stalkers are in one way or another mentally unbalanced.

Here is a list of possible steps you could use. If you know who your stalker is and can prove it – you can go to the local police and get a restraining order (which in some cases is effective but is only enforceable after it is violated).

Depending on what the stalker has done the police could arrest them.

But what can you do if you don’t know who they are or can’t prove it? That is where I can help. I can establish surveillance on you at your home, your workplace, on-line, where ever you suspect the stalker is watching you. I can spot them, identify them, get photos or videos or other evidence you can then use to get the police involved if needed or I can contact the stalker and let them know they have been caught, that they can stop or we will take the next legal step to get rid of them.

Gun safety and personal protection

IMG_6481 croppedSince the number of guns purchased and applications for concealed carry have exploded recently it is clear that lots of households may now have guns for protection that never did before.

The first thing I would caution to these people is to learn how to use it, get comfortable with it so that if you ever feel the need to employ it you won’t either shoot your self or get attacked by the bad guys while you are trying to figure out how the darn thing works. Also, if it is sitting locked away in a box in a closet with the ammo locked in a different box, you might as well not have it. In an emergency, you will not have the luxury of time.

If you choose to lock the gun up, it should be fully loaded with the correct ammo and ready to use. The lock box in a closet will do you no good when the bad guy is at the front door trying to kick it in. And pointing an unloaded gun is little better than pointing a hair dryer.

Find a gun range, buy at least 100 rounds of practice ammo and use the weapon and learn how to hit what you aim at while also learning how to safely handle the weapon.

Practice ammo is the less expensive kind that surprisingly is often military grade and not the defensive grade specially made for use in personal defense and not allowed for military combat. Usually this practice ammo will be called “full metal Jacket (FMJ)” type. Personal defense rounds are “hollow point” or other types and often called “Critical Defense”.(The movie Full Metal Jacket had little to do with the ammo but it is a military movie – that being said – military is not always better than civilian).

One of the big differences is that FMJ may over penetrate the target. This means it may go through barriers and be a danger to people not known to be in the “line of fire”. These rounds do not easily deform, hold their shape and retain energy after encountering a barrier – like the interior wall of a house. The Hollow point type and other defensive rounds are expressly designed to deform or fragment upon hitting a target or barrier. They also dissipate considerable energy when they deform. This means that if you hit the targeted bad guy the bullet will probably stay within that target and not travel farther endangering others, and even if it, or pieces of it, leave the target they will have much less energy and present less danger to those not targeted. And should you miss the target the bullet will deform or fragment in a wall or floor or other background object that is between your target and others.

Here is an article from the NRA on gun safety.

Women who think their man is cheating often correct!

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Again, a report that when a woman thinks she is being cheated on – she is almost always right. Read the whole story here.

Does this mean that women are more perceptive of the clues that exist or that men are somehow blinded? Or is it more to do with women being better at hiding their tracks or giving false clues? Does it really matter why?

If your spouse (or significant other, life partner, or???) is unfaithful, it can damage your relationship, your financial life, your emotional well being. On the other hand, if you think there is cheating going on and it is not true, that also effects the same aspects of your life.

If you need to know the facts, call me.

Dating is sometimes dangerous but On Line dating can be disaster

Getting set up on a date with a friends coworker’s friend from college might be hazardous, but at least there is a trail of real people that can eventually be tracked to the person should something go wrong.

On Line dating has no such trail of real people. The worst are those dating sites that take the information from the people who sign up and make no effort to verify who is whom. How can you protect your self? I do not think passing laws to force the dating sites to do background checks is the way to go. This just adds a layer of people you don’t know and have no reason to trust into the process.

My advice is to go slow, DO NOT give the dating site or anyone you contact there ANY PERSONALLY IDENTIFIABLE INFORMATION until after you have negotiated a safe way to find out who is really “Looking for true love 629”.

I recently found out that the woman who had moved in with a new “boyfriend” was not at all who she pretended to be (he is 50ish – she mid 40’s). First, the name she was lining under was not one she was born with, not one of her several married names from former marriages, nor was the implied ethnicity of the name based on her actual background. Looking further I found she had had retraining orders against her.

Finally, I found she was posting on Facebook to a page called Hot Facebook Latinas – looking for her next “sugar daddy” under her assumed identity while still living with (sponging off of) her current one.

I also encountered a former Match dating site victim who after chatting with a guy, and sending her picture, agreed to meet at a large restaurant on a Friday night. He spotted her in the parking lot and sexually assaulted her in the parking lot.

And if you think Tinder or the casual encounters on Craigslist are a good idea – you are strictly looney tunes.

Investigate who you are meeting before you meet them or let them move in. Word to the wise.

Private Investigator vs Google

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Why hire a PI when “everything” can be Googled? To get real answers, not pizza – that’s why..

Sure it seems like everything can be Googled, sometimes you have to pay? The truth is real info is restricted and not available to the public. What you can find through Google or those People finder sites is a conglomeration of data compiled by data mining information from all sorts of lists. These lists are purchased from stores with frequent buyer cards, bulk mailing houses, companies that do deliveries.

And what is wrong with that? Recently several teens spent the evening at my home. One ordered Pizza for the group – used their parent’s credit card, a cell phone on the parent’s cell phone account and had it delivered to my address. At some time in the future that name, phone number and credit card info will be associated to my address. If someone comes looking to serve them court papers good luck – I don’t even know the parent’s name and cannot help them out.

What you get from these sites may look real and may be correct but if you need to take the information to court and get a judge to let you use it to collect money you are owed, get child custody settled, get a divorce and support case settled you need verifiable and verified information.

As a licensed P.I. I have access to databases, both private and government operated that are restricted and have real verifiable data. Beyond that I go beyond that and verify the data by other means. This data is then admissible to the courts and can be the basis of court orders.

Don’t waste money on pay information sites that will do nothing for you in court. Start by calling or emailing me.

Police Blotter

Used to be you could get the local newspaper and look at the recent police calls in your town. Well those printed papers are scarce and the police call info they may have is weeks old when it is printed.

Try this site called Raidsonline. It will show you on a map what calls were made in what ever area you select map1and the time frame you want to see.

Each different call is a different icon and clicking it gives an approximate address (privacy) and date and time and a brief description.

The added benefits are you don’t get newspaper ink on your fingers and you don’t have to dispose of the paper when you are done.

If you want to listen real time, try one of the several police scanner apps on your smart phone or PC. they don’t give you the undercover calls but most Police, Fire and EMS calls come through. As with the over the air radios, it takes some listening and a jargon cheatsheet to understand.

But these should satisfy your crime snooper curiosity from your phone or PC.

Close you doors and lock the locks

Recently I did surveillance in a Colorado Springs neighborhood. This is a newer, fairly affluent area but not far from less affluent areas.

I couldn’t help but notice there were several homes with the garage door standing open for long periods of time and no one in or outside the garage. The police have been advising people in these types of neighborhoods not to do this.

Parker Colorado police recently told the public that burglars have targeted homes with open garage doors. They will use that access to take whatever of value might be in the garage itself, also the cars in those garage are often also left unlocked and sometimes even left with keys in the ignition.

Next they point out that often the door between the garage and the home itself is left unlocked. All this easy access to places where valuables can be found is all an opportunistic burglar needs.

Beyond that, if the keys are in the car – it is amazingly simple to make copies of the house keys commonly hanging on the ring. The garage door openers often have the code needed to clone the remote easily visible on the back of the opener. Either or both of these can give them access to that car and house at another time, when the thief determines no one will be home. Worse – it can give access to the home to someone whose aims are beyond crimes against property – they can target the home when people are home and have simple – easy and secret access to the home and the people it it.

When you are not actively in the garage – close the door. Take the keys out of your car when you are not inside. Your safety, that of your family and your home are too valuable to allow criminals easy access!